Fixer Upper Love…

(Proverbs 12:4; Proverbs 21:9; Proverbs 21:19; Proverbs 31:20-31; 2 Corinthians 6:14, etc.)

It’s the season of love, and romance. Many adults are desperate for companionship; some to the point where they’re prepared to lower or revise their standards- just to not be alone.

The best advice I can give you, is learn how to be by yourself for a little while. Learn what it is you enjoy, what gives you life, and purpose, apart from a relationship. Pursue your passions. In doing so, you are bound to come in contact with like-minded individuals.

But whatever you do- connect with people relationally, based on who and what they are RIGHT Now. And not based on what you think you can turn them into. Fixer upper husbands and fixer upper wives come with no guarantees- and a ‘ring’ has never changed an individual’s morality, nor their character. If you’re just dating, and they feel comfortable enough with you to demonstrate harsh negatives, if you’re already making excuses for their bad behavior and poor character- a cake and a dress aren’t going to improve things.

Before selling yourself short, learn to enjoy your time alone. Stay prayerful- and pay attention to the warning signs God sends your way. Maybe that man or that woman is ‘almost’ what you want. And certainly none of us are perfect. So it’s always going to require plenty of patience, and plenty of forgiveness.

But have a threshold, and boundaries- concerning what you’ll accept. And if they appear to be headed in the right direction, give them time. TAKE IT SLOW. In general- we are entirely too quick to hop in the sack with people, and get spiritually and emotionally tangled up with them, based on superficial qualities.

But if you guard you heart and your body, and patiently ‘learn’ that person, you’ll be glad you did. For better, or for worse. But before you make long term commitments, make sure it’s not based on a wish list. Or some version of them you hope to be able to mold and manipulate them into becoming. That’s not fair to them, and it’s not fair to you.

If you’re that interested, keep them close- watch them grow. Even help them grow. But don’t go signing a mortgage and picking out curtains, based on who you hope they become. Happy Valentine’s Day to those loving on their boo, but also- to those who have learned to just love themselves.